Helpful Suggestions for Parents
If you know or suspect that your child may have been raped, sexually assaulted or abused, you probably feel helpless and desperate to find a way to help him or her. You’re not alone; we want to help, too! Consider these suggestions on ways to be supportive and contact us at Baylor Counseling Services if we can offer more assistance to you or your child during this very difficult time.
I think my child has been sexually assaulted, what should I do!?
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What To Do |
What NOT To Do |
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Remain calm and listen non-judgmentally |
Teach, judge, blame, or criticize (instead just listen and offer comfort) |
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Acknowledge their pain and the wrong-doing |
Cry after he/she tells you about the abuse while your child is with you |
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Never blame them for the abuse, even though your child may blame him/herself for the assault |
Focus on what they should have done differently |
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Tell them they didn’t deserve the abuse and that you hate this happened to them |
Force them to talk to you about it or ask about details |
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Tell them that you love them and ask what you can do to help |
Tell the family or their friends about the abuse (instead allow some privacy) |
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Empower them to make their own choices |
Make choices for them |
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Understand it is normal for them to sometimes feel unsafe even in safe situations |
Bring up the assault or abuse unless it’s initiated by them |
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Be sensitive to the fact that they may need more physical space or want to avoid physical touch (but if they request it, don’t avoid it) |
View them as damaged or broken or change the way you relate to them |
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Take what is shared with you seriously and understand survivors will often minimize the impact of an assault |
Minimize the assault or question their reactions to the abusive person |
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Be hopeful. Encourage them that they can recover and to talk to a mental health professional when they’re ready |
Believe it is hopeless for them to recover |
The student may also choose to contact or go to a local hospital or police department, for more information about healthcare and legal options following a sexual assault. He/she may also contact Baylor Counseling Services to speak with a Counselor about these options or other concerns. It is also understandable if you want to pursue counseling for yourself.
